


Take My Hand (It's Going to Be Okay)

by raiining



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s01e12 Seeds, Gen, M/M, Skye is not a yenta, but she tries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-09 13:22:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1146479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raiining/pseuds/raiining
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been over ten years since Skye has seen Clint Barton.  He hasn't changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take My Hand (It's Going to Be Okay)

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently Chloe Bennet was born in 1991 and is only 22 years old (damn you IMDB, I was happy in my ignorance!) which means the age difference between her and Jeremy Renner is twenty years. I'm going to hand-wavingly say it's much less than that, for this story to make sense. 
> 
> Huge thanks to Ralkana, who makes everything better! THANK YOU!

Skye drifts along the edges of the stalls, not stopping at any one in particular, just looking at everything the circus has to offer.

There are a lot of different midway games, each with brightly-coloured stuffed animals on display, but they're too expensive. Catherine only gave her five dollars to spend at the circus before dropping her off and while five dollars is a lot of money, Skye knows she can't play a game _and_ get cotton candy _and_ put at least two dollars away for safe-keeping at the same time. It's better to get candy she can eat now than try to win a stuffed animal that would probably fall apart _(get left behind)_ in a month or two, anyway.

Besides, there are plenty of things to look at that she doesn't have to pay for. Skye's never been to a circus before, not that she can remember. Maybe her real parents took her once, when she was a baby. She pictures a woman with dark silky hair and a man with kind eyes. They would have wanted to have one happy memory with her before giving her away. 

Skye loses a few minutes to the daydream before a kid – older than she is, but not an adult or anything – comes barreling into her. She falls backwards onto the ground with an audible "Oomph!" The kid is over and past her before she can do anything to stop him.

She throws a glare over her shoulder and sees the boy spare her a glance. He's lanky but not tall, with sandy blonde hair and coltish grace. _Sorry_ , he mouths, before turning and running again. Skye shakes her head and moves to stand up. She stops when a huge man in a blue costume appears in front of her, glaring down at her in the dirt.

"Where did he go?" the man growls. Skye can feel her eyes widen. The man has dark hair and a well-trimmed moustache, and he talks with a funny accent. "Well?"

"Wh- who, sir?"

"That good-for-nothing weasel, Barton. Where did he go?"

Skye's never heard anyone but a foster kid called a 'good-for-nothing' before. In a moment of solidarity, she points to the right, towards the brightly-coloured fabric of the circus tent. "He went that way, sir."

The man huffs and stalks off in that direction, muttering something that sounds French or Spanish under his breath. Skye watches him go before standing up, bending over to brush the dirt from her jeans. If she ruins this pair, she's not going to get another.

"Thanks."

She gasps and looks up. The blonde kid is suddenly right in front of her, staring at her with a bashful expression. 

He looks even younger up close, maybe fourteen or so, and she can see that he's wearing a purple costume under an old sweatshirt. His sneakers are dirty, even more beat-up than hers are. The sole curls up when he toes at the ground. "Sorry I knocked you over."

Skye shrugs and looks away. "It's okay." They stand in silence for a moment, before she clears her throat and glances over at the circus tent. "Why was he chasing you?"

The boy makes a face. "My brother was supposed to get the targets ready, but he didn't, so Duquesne wants me to do them instead." 

"You work here at the circus?"

She can't quite keep the awe from her voice and the boy preens. "Yup, for a while now. This year I'm good enough that Trickshot is letting me go on stage with him, which means Barney has to do more of the chores." He deflates, his shoulders curling inwards. "He doesn't like that so much."

"So you end up doing both his work and yours?" Skye guesses. "That sucks."

"Yeah, well," the boy makes a face and looks away, "at least he's still here. I don't know what I'd do without my brother."

Skye feels a pang of longing. "I wish I had a brother."

The boy looks back at her. "Yeah? You from around here?"

"Sort of. I'm staying with a couple in town."

He nods knowingly. "You're a foster. I went through this town once, back when I was in the system. There aren't too many couples who take kids. Who're you staying with?"

Skye looks at him. "Robert and Catherine Bones."

"Bones, yeah," the boy says, "I remember them. I didn't know they took girls, though. How long have you been with them?"

Skye feels a familiar tightness in her chest. "Two months."

Two months is the worst. It's just long enough that she's feeling sort of settled. She knows that Robert takes his coffee with two cream and if she hands it to him in the morning he'll smile at her and say thanks. Catherine likes to make pancakes on the weekends and she'll let Skye put butter on them before adding maple syrup. Two months is when she starts feeling that maybe _this_ time, maybe _this_ family...

Two months means she has six more weeks until they give her up, until she has to move again. Skye hates the two month mark.

The boy's expression shows he understands. "You're what, nine? Ten?"

"Ten," Skye tells him. She pronounces it like the sentence that it is.

"Yeah, you don't have much time left. It's easier for single kids, though. Me and Barney never had a chance. It could still happen."

"Maybe," she says, and toes at the dirt. It's better not to hope.

"Okay, well," the boy chews on his bottom lip for a moment, thinking. "You know Robert likes baseball, right?" 

Skye looks back at him. "He does?"

"Yeah, uh," he curses. "Okay, you probably don't, you've only been with them two months, but the season is starting soon. Try to watch baseball with him. Um, I forget what his favourite team is, but it shouldn't be too hard to learn. And Catherine..." the boy searches his memory, "I think she likes to go the library on weekends. I don't know if that was just with us or something, because I don't read so good and she kind of picked up on that – she's a teacher, you know – but she seemed to enjoy it."

Skye feels a flare of hope and crushes it, but she can't help the way it peeks around the edges. "That's good to know, thanks."

The boy shoots her a blinding smile. "You're welcome." He sticks out a hand. "I'm Clint, by the way. Clint Barton."

"Skye," she says, and they shake. 

"What, no last name?"

She feels that pinch in her chest again. "No. The orphanage gave me a last name but it's not – it's not really _mine_ , you know? I like the name Skye, so that's my name, now."

The boy – Clint – smiles. "That's awesome." He makes a face. "Sometimes I wish I could give up my name and just be Hawkeye, but..." he glances down. 

"You still have your brother?"

He scuffs the ground again, peeling up more of his shoe. "Yeah."

She looks at him, really _looks_ at him, and guesses. "Parents dead?"

Clint nods. "Car accident." 

He says it easily, so it probably happened years ago. Still. "Must have been nice to have a family, even if it was just for a while."

Surprisingly, Clint shakes his head. "Nah. My dad, he beat us. Me and Barney and my mom, too. She didn't... she didn't do anything, you know? Might have been better not to have had a family at all."

Skye bites her lip, thinking of nights lying spent alone in bed, of wishing and praying and daydreaming so hard it hurts. She thinks of the money she has saved in her bag, the collection of dirty bills that will be all she has left if no one decides she's good enough. "No. It's not."

Clint meets her eyes. His gaze is serious. She feels a spark of connection between them, a shared understanding of just how unfair the world can be. "Yeah," he says, after a moment. "Maybe not."

They stand in solidarity for a moment, until Clint shoots a thumb over his shoulder. "How long till your pickup? I can get you in to some of the games without a ticket."

Skye grins. "Yeah?"

Clint's answering smile is blindingly bright. "Yeah," he says, nudging her shoulder with his own. "Come on, I'll show you."

They spend the afternoon running around the circus. Skye doesn't think she's ever had so much fun in her life. Clint is a devil-child, as the nuns would say. He knows everything and everyone. He sneaks her in line for the carnival games and shows her the loose flap to get into the Big Top. She gets to watch two shows before Catherine comes to pick her up. One is with the acrobats and a tightwire, and the second is the show Clint is in, with Trickshot. It's amazing to see him in action, the World's Youngest Master Marksman, and Skye claps louder than anyone else in the audience.

She also laughs at the sight of him in his circus costume, but Clint just smirks and spins to show her how it flares. The purple sequins sparkle in the spotlight. 

It's the best day Skye's ever had, but in the end it's just one day. By the time Catherine picks her up at seven, it's already over. Skye keeps the memory as fresh and alive in her mind as she can, but it still fades with time. She forgets the hue of the tents and the flavour of the candy. She remembers Clint and his bright smile, but she can't recall his last name. She likes to imagine that they meet again, that they both get adopted by the same family, but it never happens. 

She'd like to say that the moment she sees the footage from New York on TV she recognizes him, but she doesn't. The camera never gets close enough to see his face and the footage of Tony Stark saving the day dominates the news. She quickly turns her attention from the Avengers to S.H.I.E.LD., anyway, because they're the ones with the answers she's been searching for all her life. It's not until she sees Clint on the Bus that she makes the connection in her mind.

"Oh my god," Jemma is saying from behind her, sounding breathless, "is that _Hawkeye_?"

The team is waiting together in the cargo hold for the asset they've been instructed to pick up from S.H.I.E.L.D. The mission they've been given requires sniper support and while Ward would usually do it, he's needed on the ground this time. Skye knows that Coulson and May have fought over this, and she's noticed that her boss has been twitchy all day. All of that goes out of her head the moment she sees a familiar shock of sandy-blonde hair.

"What the – ? _Clint_?"

He frowns at her, confused for a moment, but then their eyes meet and his entire face breaks out into a smile. "Holy shit! _Skye_?"

She's in the air suddenly, his strong hands tight on her waist as he spins her. "Ha! I can't believe it! _You're_ the brass-balls hacker everyone is talking about?" He puts her down and grins at her, the same brilliant, blinding white grin. "You sure have grown up, Skye-no-last-name girl."

"Me?" She laughs. "What about you? Holy crap, you're a _superhero_!"

He blushes and puts one hand on the back of his neck. "Naw, not really. I'm a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, though, have been for about ten years now. You? What did you do after – ?" He catches her expression and his face falls. "Oh, no luck, eh?"

She swallows and has to look away. She remembers – in sudden, full-colour detail – the look on Catherine's face as she waved good-bye, the way her hand tightened in Robert's grip. Skye had held it together long enough to get into the vehicle the orphanage sent, but then she'd broken down and cried. She'd tried so hard that time, so _very_ hard, and it still hadn't been enough.

She knows now, though, from what Coulson has told her, that maybe it wasn't her fault. Maybe Catherine and Robert _had_ wanted to keep her, like so many other couples before and after them might have, but they hadn't been allowed. The orders to keep her moving, to transfer her from state to state, had prevented her from finding a family even as they'd kept her safe.

"I never got adopted," Skye answers Clint now, "but it's okay. I, well I'm not sure how much I can tell you, but suffice it to say that I ended up hacking my way into a S.H.I.E.L.D. database from the back of my van, and," she looks around at her team, "here I am!"

Clint smiles at her, dimmer but no less true, and squeezes her shoulder. "I'm glad." He looks around as well, as if just remembering that they have an audience. "I, uh, this is a helluva team to be a part of."

He doesn't meet Coulson's eyes when he says that. Skye remembers her boss's earlier twitchiness and glances at him, but he's got his 'Agent Coulson' mask firmly in place. 

She looks back to Clint, taking in his tac suit and his bow. "So you _are_ the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent assigned to us?"

Clint nods. He stands a little straighter and gives Coulson a nod. "Agent Barton, reporting as ordered, sir."

Coulson returns his acknowledgement. There's a slight crinkling around his eyes, as if despite his wishes, he's holding back a smile. "Agent Barton." 

Strangely, the look makes Clint's face tighten, and not in a good way. Oh yeah, Skye thinks, staring at them, there's _definitely_ a story here. 

Thankfully for the escalating tension in the room, Leo starts to fidget. "I, uh, Agent Barton, I just wanted to say... well, I wanted to ask, if I could," he shuffles his feet, unaware that Clint is starting to look uncomfortable, "the, uh, the grappling hook arrows provided by S.H.I.E.L.D. – ?"

Clint blinks a couple of times. "Oh, right, FitzSimmons, of course. Yeah – the arrows are good."

"Really?" Leo asks, brightening.

Clint nods. "Totally. They've saved my life twice already. Well done."

"I knew it!" Leo says, and turns to Jemma with a grin. "Come on, pay up."

Her mouth falls open as she tries to think of some protest, then shuts when she pulls a British candy bar out of her pocket, the one they've all become addicted to. "I was _sure_ Stark would have confiscated them for tinkering by now."

Clint shrugs. "Tony did try to improve on them, but that's because he's got it into his head to build an expandible cushion arrow I could shoot before I hit the ground."

He rolls his eyes as he says it, but Leo looks intrigued. "That's not a bad idea, actually. You'd have to use a quick-expanding polymer – "

"With exceptional tensile strength," Jemma points out.

"And the air-injection system would have to be near instantaneous," Leo adds.

They're off, talking in half-sentence technobabble. Skye bites her cheek in an effort not to laugh and catches Clint doing the same.

"You know," she tells him, bumping his shoulder with hers, "you could always try just, you know, not falling off buildings instead."

"Now where would the fun in that be?"

"Yes, well," Coulson interrupts. When Skye glances back at him, he looks off-balance. He's trying to hide it beneath his Agent Coulson mask, but she knows him well enough by now. "We should probably start the debriefing. May, you'll get us in the air?"

Melinda nods and turns towards the cockpit without a backward glance. Grant, who's been standing quietly in the back, leads the way to the conference room. Clint settles his own professional mask back in place and follows him. Skye grabs Jemma on her way, knowing Leo will follow. The group of them troop off to listen to Coulson explain the assignment. It's intense, like their missions usually are, but there's still time for the team to hang out.

Skye and Clint reconnect. It's pretty amazing. She'd wondered, over the years, if she'd imagined just how well they'd gotten along, the instant connection they seemed to share. It turns out, she hadn't. Clint is just as fun and funny as he had been that day at the circus, and pretty soon they're talking and laughing like they've never been apart. 

They summarize what they've been up to for the past fifteen years. Skye learns that as bad as things had gotten for her, they'd been worse for Clint. He hasn't lost his boyish charm, though. Skye watches as he uses it on each member of their team in turn. He hangs out with Leo and Jemma in the science lab, spars with Grant in the cargo hold, and even sits with May in the cockpit for a whole fifteen minutes before she kicks him out. 

The only person he doesn't seek out is Coulson. The feeling seems to be mutual, since Coulson spends most of his time holed away in his office. Skye has gotten used to seeing him sitting in the common area with a book or a cup of coffee, but instead he hides the entire time Clint's on board.

She tries to ask Clint about it, but he deflects her questions. She goes to Coulson, instead.

"Hey, A.C.," she says, knocking on his office door. He's sitting at his desk surrounded by papers, and she knows things are really bad when he doesn't even react to the nickname he hates. "Can I come in?"

"Skye. Yes, of course." He indicates the visitor chair. "I'm just finishing our report."

"Do you write something up after every mission? Or just ones involving Avengers?"

He doesn't flinch, he's too well trained for that, but he does give her a tighter smile than usual. "Every mission, unfortunately. Paperwork is a necessary evil in our line of work. You have a few reports due yourself, you know."

"If they were that important," Skye says with a smile, "you'd be bugging me more to get them done."

Coulson almost rolls his eyes. "Yes, you and Clint – " He cuts himself off. 

Skye watches as he clears his throat, avoids her eyes, and reshuffles his paperwork. She licks her lips. "Me and Clint – what?"

Coulson keeps his gaze on his desk. "Well, it's just that the two of you have a lot in common."

"Yes, we've both seen his sparkly purple circus costume," Skye agrees, jokingly. "That's bound to create a bond."

That makes Coulson look up. "Is that where you first met him?" he asks, sounding curious. "At the circus?"

Skye nods. "Yeah. It was just the once, but, it was... good. To find someone who understood. I think I lasted a couple of extra years in the system, just remembering his smile and how hopeful he made me feel."

Coulson looks almost painfully fond. "Agent Barton is quite remarkable that way."

Skye stares at him, at the soft look in his eye, and feels the stirrings of a hunch.

"He's remarkable, that's for sure," she agrees, watching him. "He's fun, funny, and, not to belabour the point, but very easy on the eyes." 

Coulson shoots her a look, but the tips of his ears have turned red. "Yes, well..."

"I mean," Skye goes on, "have you _seen_ his ass? I have half a mind to ask if he still has the circus costume stashed somewhere."

"You're more than welcome to ask him," Coulson says, in a deceptively even tone of voice. "Now, if you'll excuse me..."

"Not that he needs it, because that field suit, wow. I should send flowers to whoever designed it."

Unexpectedly, that makes Coulson chuckle. "I think there's a card somewhere at S.H.I.E.L.D."

"I'll have to sign it next time we're at Headquarters," Skye agrees. They share a smile, but Coulson's dims first. She kicks lightly at his desk. "Come on," she says, "tell me what's up."

"Well," he answers with forced lightness, glancing up over his head, "at the moment, there's this ceiling.."

"Ouch," she laughs. "That's bad. No dad jokes, please."

His face falls instantly and Skye knows she's hit a nerve. "Hey now," she says, straightening in her chair. "I didn't mean it like that. I just meant, that was a really dumb joke." 

He gives her a tired smile. "I know, I'm sorry. It's been a long mission and I'm tired. I'm being unfair." He takes a breath and meets her eyes. "I'm very happy for you," he says, out of the blue. "Long-distance can be difficult, but we can pass through New York enough to make it work."

Skye stares at him. "To make... ?" 

"You deserve to be happy," he tells her. "You both do."

It's the kindness in his voice that finally clues her. "Holy shit," she says, "you think Clint and I?" She laughs. "No! Yuck! That would be like dating my brother!"

He looks confused. "You don't have a brother."

"No, but," she waves a hand, "Clint's always kind of been the brother I had in my head, you know? I met him when I was a kid and it just..." she shoots him a self-deprecating smile. "Whenever I imagined a real family, I kind of pictured him in it."

"Oh," Coulson says, and then he blushes. It's not just the tips of his ears this time, but the whole shebang. "So, you're not... ?"

"No, A.C. He's all yours."

"He's not, actually."

"But you want him to be?"

Coulson sighs, but he doesn't disagree with her. "It's not a good idea. I was his handler for six years in the field and there is, obviously, a significant age difference between us."

She gives him a look. "Oh, come on."

He makes a face. "You are much closer to his age than I am."

"That's still not a reason."

"Anything between us, now..." He shakes his head. "There was a time, maybe, when that might have been possible, but my death and the secrecy that went along with it have damaged the trust between us. I saw him once, after I came back and..." He trails off. "There were words said. It wasn't pretty."

Skye thinks that sounds messy. Still, "I'm sure if he wasn't ready to forgive you, he wouldn't have taken this assignment."

He looks down at his desk. "S.H.I.E.L.D. agents go where and when they are needed. We required Agent Barton's expertise for this assignment. That is all."

"It doesn't have to be," Skye points out. "Isn't coming back from the dead supposed to make you reconsider leaving regrets?"

"I've always thought so," says a voice from the door.

Skye turns to see Clint leaning against the wall. She can tell that he's trying to look casual, but he's tense. 

Still behind his desk, Coulson swallows. "I don't need help regretting the loss of your trust. That was the most important thing you'd ever given me."

"You didn't lose it," Clint tells him. "You just... misplaced it for a while. I think I needed the reminder that you're as human as the rest of us." He swallows. "You're so perfect, sometimes, that I forget."

"Clint..." Coulson tries, trailing off.

Clint steps hesitantly into the room, and Skye decides that's her cue to leave. She gives them both a smile and slips away, closing the door behind her and making her way down to the science lab. With the mission over, Leo and Jemma have turned back to designing trick arrows. She finds a counter to sit on and watch them.

She can't help but smile as the science babble washes over her. Leo rolls his eyes and Jemma makes duck bills with her hands, and the two of them point at diagrams and argue. Skye laughs. 

She spent so long wishing for a family that it feels strange to think that she's found it here, with the people she thought she'd have to steal from to get answers. S.H.I.E.L.D. is her family now, and it seems it always has been. The years she spent on the move were hard, but she knows she's finally where she's supposed to be. 

And she's not the only one. Skye glances up toward Coulson's office, and crosses her fingers behind her back. She's glad Clint found his own way here, to S.H.I.E.L.D. She hopes he and Coulson can work it out. 

And if they decide to be stubborn... Well, she thinks, smiling, she has a few tricks she can try. She'd like to have the man she thinks of as her brother back. She's not about to give Clint up after finding him again, after all.


End file.
